How to wear more of the clothes you already own

I banned myself from shopping four months ago, in part because of the vast number of clothes in my overstuffed wardrobe that had barely—or never—seen the light of day. Having all those clothes I loved but didn't wear was making me anxious (in the same way having too many unread books on my bedside table does). 

I'm not alone in having a lot of unworn clothes—various studies suggest this is common behaviour: one found women have an average of 22 items in their closet they never wear; another concludes people wear only about 20 per cent of the clothes they own. 

But just because it's common doesn't mean it isn't ridiculous. It is totally ridiculous! It's a waste of time and money, a waste of space and a waste of the planet's resources. So why do we do it?  I read this article yesterday by a consumer psychologist on the science of why we buy clothes we never wear. It sets out a few reasons for the behaviour, but I don't think you need to have a psychology degree to work out it's mostly due to poor decision making.

For  example:

• You fall in love with a garment and simply must  have it even though you know it isn't quite right—maybe it sits a bit funny or it's half a size too small or you love the style but not so much the fabric.
• You want to buy something—anything!—new because you're bored or sad or shopping online while tipsy (or all of the above).
• You shop for the life you want, not the life you have—for example, you buy 'occasion' dresses for occasions that rarely present themselves; you buy a pair of gorgeous sky-high stilettos even though you know they'll be chambers of foot torture; you buy jeans that are too small because you plan to shed a few kilos; you buy something outrageous because you wish you were braver, quirkier, edgier.
• You buy something you weren't sure about because the shop assistant/your friends/your partner said it looked great on you.
• You buy a piece just because it's the latest fashion 'must have' or it's ridiculously discounted.
• You buy things without considering whether they go with anything else you already own.

Don't lose your mind during the sales

But I don't think poor decision making accounts for my bulging wardrobe of rarely or never worn stuff. I feel quite confident in saying that at the age of 44 with 20+ years of shopping under my belt I have moved beyond this kind of poor decision making. I've been much more discerning about what I buy for years now. I'm essentially immune to the dictates of fashion (must-have schmust-have), I ask myself a lot of questions before deciding to shell out for something (even when it's on sale) and I have to LOVE it. If I don't love it, I leave it

So why do I have so many un(der)worn clothes? My problem isn't so much that I buy the wrong stuff; my problem is that I'm lazy and lack time and energy. Because Every Single Day is a struggle for me to leave my beloved bed, I don't give myself time to open my wardrobe doors, stand back and wait for ensemble inspiration to hit me, or to play around with an outfit if it turns out it doesn't look as good on my body as it did in my mind's eye. This means I often rotate through the same eight or ten outfits.  I have one particular outfit I wear on days when I have no or time or energy and don't want to put any thought at all into what I'm wearing, which happens most weeks. (It's a comfy green shift dress worn over a black top with black tights).

I usually have more time to get dressed on the three days I don't work, but still I often find myself wearing old favourites that are comfortable and that I already know will go with everything (or reaching for gym tights and a hoodie even when I'm not planning to do any exercise). I don't know why I do this when I love clothes and I enjoy the creative process of putting together an outfit! The laziness is strong in this one... (Has anyone written a Lazy Girl's Guide to Being Less Lazy?)

Because I'm lazy and/or chronically tired, I still haven't got around to properly 'shopping my closet' to come up with a bunch of ensembles I can throw on without much thought. I have been making an effort to wear more of my neglected clothing every day—that pair of faux leather leggings I forgot I owned; the ace black and blue men's tie I bought at an op shop more than five years ago because I loved the colour and pattern; those biker boots that sat neglected because I wanted to wear my new(ish) red boots all the time. I've even dragged out a few of my button up shirts for work even though they need to be washed and ironed (ugh) after one wear. Yesterday I wore a newish pair of boots that have been sitting under a chair in my bedroom long enough to collect a light coat of dust.

Rarely worn boots

I probably have no place giving advice on how to avoid only wearing 20 per cent of your wardrobe, but I'm doing it anyway. 

Before you shop: 

• Work out what looks good on you, according to your own standards, not society's silly rules (remember: there are no fashion rules; only fashion opinions). If you think you and your voluptuous self are rocking those horizontal stripes, go for it.  Look at your favourite outfits—what exactly is it about them that you love? What do they have in common stylistically? Find the answers and use them to guide you on what to buy and what not to buy.
• In a similar vein to the above, put some time and thought into defining your style. This blog has some good advice on how to pin down your style.
• Once you have defined your style, think about whether a capsule wardobe is for you (great advice on this and many other fashion/style things here). Capsule wardrobes mean fewer clothes, but maximum wearability.  It's a highly curated (*cringe* I hate that word) wardrobe. 
• Pay little heed to what's in fashion and focus instead on your own style (fashion is fleeting, style is forever, as they say). You do not have to have what the fashion media calls 'must haves'. They care more about advertising dollars than whether you look good or have a functional, value-for-money wardrobe.
• Work out what you actually need to fill 'gaps' in your wardrobe. Is there an item you don't have that would pull together other pieces in your wardrobe you rarely wear into outfits you would actually wear? Do you have the basics covered? There are a billion lists of wardrobe essentials every woman must own floating around online, but use these only as a guide because we're all special snowflakes with different tastes and styles. (Nude pumps appear on heaps of these lists, but I hate nude shoes and will never, EVER consider them essential!) If you're like me, you probably don't have any gaps to fill (literally and figuratively). Once my shopping ban is over, I plan to only buy what I need, if I ever happen to need anything ever again! Realistically though, I know most people are still going to buy stuff just because they like it and want it. In which case...

Know your measurements for online shopping

When you're shopping: 

• Take your time, pay more attention to what your gut and eyes are telling you, rather than the opinions of others (especially those who have a vested interest in you parting with your hard earned). 
• When shopping online, know your measurements and pay careful attention to size guides (even though they can be hit and miss). Read customer reviews about fit and quality and look for reviews written by people with similar measurements (if provided). This has made me think twice about buying plenty of clothes, especially on sites with overpriced delivery and returns. Look at the description for information on what a garment is made from and avoid cheap, shitty materials. Always factor in the cost of shipping and returns when you are about to be seduced by what appears to be an absolute bargain. Those $40 shoes that turned out to be too big? Not as much of a bargain when you have to pay $40 to send them back. (Related: I have a pair of size 10 shoes to sell/swap/give away...)
• In bricks-and-mortar shops, home in on the stuff that fits your defined style and filter out the rest. Me in the shops: heads straight for the racks of black and anything with black and white stripes (often only to be bitterly let down when the stripes turn out to be navy blue. Harrumph). 
• Try it on! Pay close attention to fit. It doesn't matter how beautiful or expensive a garment is, if it doesn't fit properly, it won't look great and you won't feel great wearing it. Some fit issues can be easily fixed (too long, too baggy), but others take more work and are expensive. Leave it on the rack if you don't think you're really likely to bother having it altered to fit properly. This blog has some good pointers on how clothes should fit and also on the basics of tailoring clothes that don't fit right. There's also great advice on proper fit here and here.
• Even if something is really cheap so you think it doesn't matter if you get home and it doesn't fit or flatter, still try it on. If you keep doing this, you will end up wasting a lot of money on a lot clothes you never wear.
• Consider how a garment fits not only while you are standing still, but also during and after movement. Move your arms back and forth, do a few knee bends, sit down if there's a bench. Does it fall down, gape, ride up or pinch? Having to constantly adjust your clothing is a pain and not conducive to Rocking It. 
• Look at the tag to see what a garment is made of—a high price does not always mean quality fabric. I avoid nearly everything made with rayon or viscose (which you can still find on the racks in pricier shops), because I don't like the feel and they generally don't wash and wear well. They end up looking crappy very quickly, which means you are less likely to wear them—and more likely to get rid of them after a few wears, which seems like a simple solution for you, but it really just moves the problem down the line, often all the way to landfill, where it will take decades to break down.
• Look at the care instructions to see if a garment is machine washable. If you're like me, you hate ironing and prefer not to spend much money on drycleaning (although there are ways around those things. See here for tips on cleaning your supposedly dryclean-only clothes and here for ways to minimise or avoid ironing). Your knee bends and sit down should tell you how easily and how much a fabric will crease. Be realistic about whether you will care for it properly or whether it will spend most of its time waiting to be ironed or drycleaned and thus unworn. 
• Remember that even a massively discounted item is not a bargain if you never wear it. 
• Consider whether you really, really, REALLY love a garment and are likely to forge a long and happy relationship with it, or whether it's just a fleeting crush, even if it's not costing you half a week's pay. A good (albeit sometimes impractical) test is to hold off on buying something and wait a few days or a week. If it was just a crush, you'll get over it, but if you still think it has the makings of a grand love affair, go back for it. If your size is sold out, it's not the end of the world. Save your feelings of regret for things that really matter in life (like when you get to the patisserie and all the chocolate croissants are gone).

Do you really want to use this thing? 

After shopping (aka 'stern note to self'):

• Sometimes you can't really tell until you take something home and wear in the real world whether it works or not. Maybe that top doesn't look as good with that skirt as you thought it would or the shoes you planned to wear with it are not quite the right colour. Make sure you return it straight away and don't just leave it hanging in your wardrobe. Maybe it shrank in the wash or stretched a bit too much with wear and it's no longer flattering or has to be constantly hoiked up, but it's too late to return it. If you can't (or don't want to) have it altered, get rid of it—swap, sell or donate. 
• Keep everything where you can see it. Out of sight = out of mind = never worn. The last two dresses I bought before my shopping ban started were hanging in my spare room because I didn't want the pleats/gathers to get crushed in my packed wardrobe, and I then promptly forgot I ever bought them. (But despite moving them into my main wardrobe, I still keep forgetting they're there! Next week!) 
• Shop/remix your closet. Cull the crap, make the most of what you keep. (Find more useful advice here.)
• Plan ahead for what you will wear the next day.  
• Set little challenges for yourself, like wearing something 'new' every day or wearing a different pair of shoes at work each day so the neglected stuff gets its moment in the spotlight. Today I'm wearing a pair of boots I haven't worn since last year. Maybe not since 2014, but I love them too much to ditch them.

Finally and not surprisingly, I recommend just not shopping! You could try it just for a few months to see how you go. You might be surprised. I've certainly been surprised by how little I miss it, how much I enjoy re-discovering the clothes I love, and how great it is not to have the constant craving to buy more. I'm also amazed at how much my attitude to shopping and spending has changed in a mere four months of not shopping. Of course I might be speaking too soon, but rather than simply giving up shopping for a few months, this challenge looks set to actually change my life (but more on that in another post). 

Back away from the athleisure wear, Jayne

I've been doing quite a good job of wearing more of the neglected and never-worn clothes in my wardrobe on the four days a week that I work, but I'm struggling on the three other days. 

Unless it's one of those infrequent occasions that requires dressing up a bit, all I want to do is wear exercise gear—lycra leggings, sneakers and a hoodie. Wearing sneakers a lot (albeit casual sneakers, not trainers) is nothing new for me because I don't own a car, which means I walk a lot and need to be comfortable—but I've rarely worn them in public with exercise gear, unless there is (or will be) actual exercise is involved.

But that changed when I bought lycra tights for the gym last year and everyone else was wearing their gym gear as casual attire (thus the term 'athleisure wear' was coined), so it was fashionable—not like wearing your saggy baggy trackies in public, which I will NEVER do.

Not that I really care about what's in fashion, but they're just so comfy, and the (Target cheapie) compression ones make me feel sleek, even though I think the flesh mostly gets pushed up into a muffin top.

Every Friday and Saturday when its comes time to get dressed I have a debate with myself about whether I'll just pull on my tights or wear proper clothes. I have so many proper casual clothes that I could be—should be—wearing, it feels wrong to neglect them, but the lycra wins the debate about half the time.

Last Saturday I was pleased with myself for wearing a denim dress I haven't worn in months and a pair of boots I haven't worn in so long that I checked whether any spiders had taken up residence before putting them on. 

On Sundays I usually just go to the supermarket so I go straight for the lycra without any internal debate. I think I'll make it a rule that I can only kit up in athleisure wear on Sundays, if I'm going to yoga or on days where I'm not leaving the house. 

Hundreds of dollars of joy

I had a post ready to publish about how my shopping ban has inadvertently made me more miserly about spending in general, even though I'm still allowed to buy things that aren't shoes, clothes and accessories. 

But on Thursday I spent hundreds of dollars on a holiday (it was a great deal, but still) so I have no claim at all on being a freshly minted skinflint. I'm off to Brisbane for six nights in late July, while Luke is off holidaying in the UK. Yes, that's the trip I'm not going on because I'm short of funds. I did um and ahh about whether I should spend money on a holiday before I finally hit the submit button. I am trying to rehabilitate my savings after all. I won't be spending anywhere near as much as I would if I were going with Luke, but it's still a sizeable chunk of funds. 

But whatever. I want to go on adventure. Adventuring is fun. I've never visited Brisbane apart from a few hours in the bus station 20 years ago, and I love exploring new places. It will take my mind off not going to the UK and missing Luke. And on top of all of that, I am hoping to meet two of my longtime online friends while I'm there.  We've been friends on the interwebs for about 10 years, but have never met in real life. It will be awesome to finally meet them. 

I feel as if i'm trying to justify my spending, but I did say in my previous post I wasn't taking the full on fiscal austerity path because it cuts out many sources of joy and comfort. I've just bought a few hundred dollars of joy and comfort!  


Shopping my closet update

I had a four days off last weekend, the perfect opportunity to do a proper assessment and cull of my wardrobe, but I was lazy and only went through some of my clothes and put aside a small pile of things to go to the charity shop. 

I tried some things on and I still have quite a few clothes that are too small, but I'm not getting rid of them because I have actually been losing weight. Fitting into them isn't just wishful thinking! 

Maybe tomorrow I'll get my act together. Or next weekend. I'm still making an effort to wear more of my unworn or seldom worn pieces though. 


Napping update

I managed a whole weekend—the aforementioned four-day weekend, no less—without napping, unless you count dozing in the car on the way home from Healesville on Monday afternoon (I don't).  I had a few late nights in the lead up to that weekend, so I'm surprised I didn't feel more in need of afternoon snoozes.  

But I've blotted my copy book this weekend with a two-hour sleep on Friday afternoon. I did have a headache, but it wasn't so bad that I needed to lie down. I didn't even try to talk myself out of getting into bed for a nap when I got home and I don't feel bad about it either!    

Shopping my own closet

My name is Jayne and it's been more than a week since I last shopped for shoes and clothes. But I have been indulging in another sort of shopping: the kind fashion bloggers call "shopping your closet".

This means actually wearing the clothes you already own, which sounds silly until you consider that the average Australian only wears a third of the clothes they own. A third! That's a lot of unworn clothes and wasted money, especially if you have a vast wardrobe, as I do (vast by most people's standards, anyway). I'm not sure if I wear more or less than a third, and I'm not sure I really want to quantify it (or think about how much I've spent on unworn garments).

Shopping your closet involves re-examining what you own, purging the stuff you're never going to wear, and working out new ways to put the remaining pieces together so you feel as if you have been shopping. You make better use of everything you own and overcome the boredom of wearing the same outfits over and over (which can give rise to the urge to shop). 

Yes, I'm guilty of wearing the same things over and over. I have a lot of unworn or rarely worn clothing, but I also have a lot of clothes I've worn A LOT—once a week for months and months on end, years even. I've actually worn out some items of clothing, including a couple of my beloved black and white striped tops and a pair of jeans that have massive holes caused by the rubbing of my fleshy inner thighs (which I can't bring myself to get rid of. The jeans, I mean; I'm keeping the fleshy thighs).  

Stripes, stripes, glorious stripes

My tendency to re-wear the same things regularly is partly because I'm always in a rush on work days, and it's easier to reach for the old faithfuls rather than thinking about putting together a new outfit. Often before I go to sleep I will put together outfits in my head that incorporate a new or rarely worn piece, but when I'm racing the clock in the mornings (I usually have about 30 mins from my feet hitting the floor to racing out the door) that new outfit idea goes completely out the window and I opt for the old faithfuls. (Why, yes, I could just get up earlier, but let's be realistic.)

Last year (or the year before even) I bought a hanging rack with the intention of spending time on the weekends putting together a week of outfits so in the mornings I just had to grab my outfit off the rack and thrown it on. But I think I only did that once before the rack got filled with a bunch of clothes I'm going to try to sell online...one day when I can be bothered taking photos of them. 

Another reason I tend to wear the same things often is because I know they actually fit me. Like many women, my weight has fluctuated over the years. I've been a size 10 (Australian sizing) and I've pushed the upper limits of size 14. I have everything between size small and extra extra large (although this is partly due to inconsistent sizing).  At any given time most of my clothes fit and some don't, but usually I don't have the time in the morning to work out if something fits me again if I've lost or gained a few kilos, and then work out what to wear it with.

I'm currently in a 'losing' phase and I've been able to fit into a few barely worn or unworn items, but I need to have a proper trying-on session to work out what fits me now.  

Which brings to me to how to shop your closet...

Clean out your wardrobe. I cull my clothes a few times a year and I'm probably due to do it again. There's plenty of how-tos online on how to go about this, usually suggesting you make three piles: one for clothes to keep, one for clothing to donate/discard and one for things you aren't sure about. The latter pile you can store away for six months or so and if you don't drag anything back out of it, donate/or discard that too. 

Questions to ask yourself when going through your clothes: 

Do I love it? Do I love how I look and feel in it? Marie Kondo might urge you to only keep things that spark joy, but let's be honest: not everything in your closet will bring joy; some things are just more utilitarian, like black opaque tights or basic cotton tops or active wear. If there's no spark of joy, consider: does it serve a purpose? Does it suit my lifestyle? Does it help pull together an outfit I do love?

Even if you answer these questions in the affirmative, also ask yourself: Does it fit me properly? Really fit? If not, can I have it tailored? Will I actually get it tailored?  Does it need mending? Can i be bothered getting it repaired? Is it comfortable? Do I constantly tug at it? Is the fabric scratchy or stiff?  

And further still: Does it go with other pieces in my wardrobe? If it doesn't, you probably won't wear it. Is it too high maintenance? Am I really likely to commit to handwashing/ironing/drycleaning it regularly (bearing in mind not everything that's labelled dryclean or handwash only always needs to be cleaned that way. Some things can go in a wash bag on a gentle cycle, but exercise caution)? Do I have the appropriate undergarments to wear it to best effect? (The difference that the right bra and undies makes cannot be underestimated.)

Do you really need to dry clean that? 

Am I likely to have an occasion to wear it? A whole rack of fancy dresses is nice and all, but not much use if you rarely have occasions to wear them, unless you can dress them down (with, say, a denim jacket and flats) to make them more wearable on an everyday basis, or you are bold enough to adopt the 'every day is a special occasion' approach to dressing and frock up regardless. 

Does it have sentimental meaning to me? If you really can't bear to part with the ragged jumper your late gran knitted, don't.

Keep your clothes where you can see them. Once you've downsized to the clothes you know you will wear, keeping your clothing in one place where everything is visible makes it easier to find and work with clothes you have been neglecting. Organise your clothes so you hang like with like: skirts with skirts, pants with pants etc. Dryclean, iron and mend your clothes as required so they can go straight back into wardrobe to be worn again and again. (I say this, but I'm never likely to iron more than twice a year. That's why I mostly buy wash-and-wear clothes.)

Making new outfits. This is the fun part! Some ideas: 

• Try on all your tops with all your bottoms. Tuck your tops in or leave them untucked. 
• Pair your shoes with  skirts or dresses you wouldn't normally put together. 
• Play around with accessories like scarves and belts. 
• Consider colour combinations you wouldn't have thought of before, or experiment with pattern mixing. 
• Mix feminine pieces with edgier garments - like a flowing dress with chunky boots or a leather jacket. 
• Look at your summer clothes and see if you can get more wear out of them by adding layers. Look into layering generally. 
• Can you incorporate any of your more casual clothing into your work or going out attire? Can you dress down fancier gear? 
• But most importantly: Forget the rules. There are no fashion rules, only opinions (I think Iris Apfel said this, but I can't find the quote again). If you like it, wear it. 

When you hit on an outfit you like, take a photo. Keep your photos close at hand, either online or off. Make a Pinterest board. Stick them on your wardrobe door. Refer to them often. There's also an iPhone app called Stylebook designed to help you make outfits from your own clothes, but I don't have an iPhone so can't comment on its usefulness. 

I've been making an effort to wear some of the neglected pieces in my wardrobe—shoes, jewellery, a shirt, skirt and a pair of pants—but this weekend I need to properly go through all my stuff and create new outfits.